Review: Spider-Man 3 (2007)
'I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye.'
★★★
*sigh* Where do I start with this one? This is the film everyone had been waiting for. We all had high hopes for this. Sadly, all we got was a pile of horses***. Okay, i'm being harsh, but all I'm saying is that this film was a total letdown. Mostly.
The film starts with a monologue from our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. It seems like Peter Parker's (Tobey Maguire) life is going well. He's no longer failing classes, he's financially stable, he's got the girl of his dreams by his side, and he wants to get married. Peter attends the show of Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst), and Harry Osborn (James Franco) is still around too. If you remember from the last film, Harry found out his best friend is the man who supposedly killed his father, Norman Osborn (Willem Dafoe), which complicates their friendship. After the show, Peter visits Aunt May (Rosemary Harris) to seek advice on how to propose to MJ—in the middle of the night, for some reason. Aunt May gives a long and rather pointless story of how Uncle Ben (Cliff Robertson) proposed to her. Believing and wishing the best for him, Aunt May gives Peter her own wedding ring to give to MJ. On his way home, he gets ambushed by Harry, who has now taken on the name "New Green Goblin." Very creative there, man. After getting the upper hand, Peter takes Harry to the hospital, which results in one of the worst plot points in this movie: Harry having amnesia. Later, MJ visits Peter and shows him a negative review. Peter tells her it's only a critic and it's nothing to worry about. He also tells her that if she just believes in herself, she'll be fine. But MJ doesn't seem to like that and throws it back in his face. The third plot point is the villains, each with their own subplots. I already mentioned Harry Osborn, but the two others include Sandman (Thomas Haden Church) and Venom (Topher Grace). If I continue with this summary, this review will feel like a long and boring essay, like those you write in your high school English classes.
That's one of the problems with this movie, including too many love miscommunications, too many villains, too many bland storylines, too many talks, too many street crowds staring skyward and exclaiming "oooh!" one direction, then turning around and exclaiming "aaah!" the other. It's just too dang much. But I guess this is what you get when you give studio execs power over your movie: a disorganized movie. After the success of the previous two Spider-Man movies, it seems as though Avi Arad didn't trust in Sam Raimi. Speaking of villains, the worst casting in this movie is Topher Grace as Eddie Brock/Venom. Yes, that guy from "That '70s Show." He overacts; he's too cheesy, too comical, and overall, just laughable. This is why this Spider-Man movie sparked the most memes out of any Spider-Man film.
As a result of this movie and Avi Arad, any hopes of a "Spider-Man 4" was lost. Sony was more interested in hitting the reboot button. I look at these films like building a LEGO Tower. "Spider-Man" was the baseplate, "Spider-Man 2" was the first piece of the tower, and "Spider-Man 3" is what took away that first piece. Now all that's left is a baseplate. But I digress. In no way do I hate this film; I enjoy watching it. My review may come off as negative, but that's only because I've spent so much time analyzing it.