Review: Borderlands (2024)
Boredom Lands
👎
At the time of writing this, we're a bit over halfway through the year and I think this is the worst movie of 2024.
Nothing in this movie is done right, this movie sucks, this movie tries so hard to be something, but it fails to do so in the end. Going in, my hopes for this movie were zero to nothing, and boy am I glad I kept my hopes low because this sure sucked. As the movie kept going on, I kept looking at my watch, waiting for the movie to be over. As each scene went on, the more I felt frustrated with how bad this movie was. I wanted to walk out of the cinema, but I had a review to do, so I stayed watching.
Where do I begin? It's a mess. First things first, it's based on the popular video game series (which I haven't played yet). That's the first problem. The second problem, the storyline is just simple and bad. The third issue is that the movie probably spent all the money bringing in big stars like Jack Black, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Cate Blanchett, and the rest on the mindless CGI, and special effects. The fourth issue is the direction and the screenplay. Eli Roth wrote it and directed the film himself, and the dialogue is so bad. It couldn't balance comedy with seriousness. The fifth issue is the acting, nobody seemed to know or understand what they were doing. Jack Black and Kevin Hart were brought in for comedic relief, and Jamie Lee Curtis and Cate Blanchett were probably brought in because they needed big stars to help get budgeting from studios. The 6th and final issue is that it was produced by Avi Arad. I think that speaks for itself.
I know these known actors are experienced and have good track records, but this kind of movie wasn't for them. None of them have chemistry or seem to actually like each other. The worst actress in this movie is Ariana Greenblatt. She played "Tiny Tina." And no disrespect to the actress and all, but this performance was bad. Her character was too annoying, silly, and stupid. She has no chemistry with Cate Blanchett. But again, I cannot put the full blame on the actors, the director, Eli Roth deserves some of the blame as well. I mean, he made a sex film called "Knock Knock (2015)." And I hope I don't have to watch garbage again.
Other than Eli Roth, I do believe Avi Arad deserves some of the blame as well. He was known for saving Marvel from going bankrupt in the '90s, but he also made the stupid decision of selling each character's rights to different studios. He's been dubbed by many as the "Spider-Man ruiner," due to his constant meddling of the Spider-Man films. Don't believe me? Rewatch Spider-Man 3 again, and try to tell me otherwise.
Overall, this is a bad movie, and if you enjoyed it, I'm glad you enjoyed this bad movie. Don't think of this as me saying anyone who liked the movie is wrong. You can like whatever you like. I just found this very bad. So bad, that I can't even give it a star ranking. Other than Eil Roth and Avi Arad, I think this film came at the wrong time because the game's hype and popularity died down 10 years ago. Which can explain a lot, but that's just my theory.